The coming months and beyond

"For God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind"
2 Tim. 1:7

Reading those words are easy...but for me these days is has been hard to put them into practice. As many of you know I am 7 weeks pregnant. In August 2006, Stephen and I were surprised to find out we were pregnant. I can honestly say that the though of having a miscarriage hadn't crossed my mind. We were so excited. But on October 10th we faced the unthinkable. The loss of that child was very hard on me. Every month with the exception of probably 3 from that time on I struggled with the thought that I was pregnant every month and was depressed to find out that I wasn't. The obvious struggle was that we weren't trying. So I should have known. My mother-in-law was so sweet. She was so supportive and just listened to me when I rambled on about all of my thoughts and feelings. I eventually came to a place where I accepted the loss and began to count down to the time we would actually start trying. One reason I want to write this is because there are some of you who have never experience a miscarriage. With that being said...you may not know what to say to a friend or loved one that does experience this. I want to offer a little advice to you about what to say and what not to say.

Although you probably have the best of intentions behind your words of encouragement, I ask you to never say...

1. I know what you are going through (Unless you have gone through it)
2. There was probably something wrong so you are better off
3. You can have other children
4. Most first time pregnancies end up as miscarriages
5. Wait for a little while before telling them that they should rejoice in the fact that the baby is with God and that they should be jealous...they know this already. The pain is that they will never be here with them
6. Wait for a little while before telling them that they will see their child in Heaven some day...they already know this as well.

Here are a few things that you should do...

1. Just listen when they want to talk
2. Remind them that it isn't their fault
3. Understand that although they had never held their child in their arms or changed a diaper...this child was real to them and makes this experience no less of a loss than the death of a living relative
4. Hug them
5. Just be there

I hope this entry does not seem harsh. And if you have ever done one of the things "to not do" don't worry...we don't hold it against you.

Well I have been fearful for the past few days about having a miscarriage again. Nothing has happened to make me fearful except for Satan placing those thought in my head. At this point in my first pregnancy I had already miscarried but didn't know until I was supposed to be 9 weeks along.

Friends this is my heart. I need your prayers during this time to give me peace and trust. One things I must realize is that God is in control. In saying that...I must be willing to allow for God's will. If His will is to take my second child home before I have the honor of caring for him or her, then I must honor Him. Although hard, I cry as I know that this is absolute truth. God has given me this child to care for and the day will come when I am required to give my child back to Him. His time and not mine. Thank you for your love and prayers as I know many of you know what this is like and have found yourself walking this lonely path. I pray one day I look back and wonder why I allowed the fear in my heart in the first place. All of my love to you all and I miss you so very much.